Cancer SUCKS guys. It is no walk in the park.

With battling cancer, you gotta take it one step at a time. Day by day! Don’t over do it is what I keep reminding myself.

I am finally through the half way mark and man it does not get easier. I had a feeling this second half of chemo treatments would be more difficult than the first half. Chemo #7 was Thursday, Jan. 18th. It hit me hard. Saturday/Sunday I was so fatigued, nauseous, and my neuropathy kicked in more. I honestly felt like I was hit by a semi truck. That Saturday, I took a 4 hour nap. Monday came around and I felt better. I had more energy so I decided to blow the driveway from the wind storm we had. It was nice to get some fresh air and move those muscles. I got winded a couple of times and had to take breaks, but I got it done and it felt good. But man, I was tired after.

When going through any heartache, (cancer, a breakup, a loss of a loved one) it’s always best to stay positive. But, that’s easier said than done sometimes. I’ve always been a positive person and always saw the glass half full. At the same time, I am human and I have my days. Just like any of us and that’s okay. When I have my days where I’m sad, frustrated, annoyed, it is best to let your feelings out. Talk about it with someone. Never bottle it up (I tend to do this). I had a moment on Sunday, Jan. 21st with my bonus mom. I just started crying. I was annoyed that I have cancer and I was frustrated that in a way I’ve had to somewhat put my life on hold. It is not far. Having cancer is a huge change of life plus loosing my dad at the start of the battle, not easy. It felt good to get those tears out though. LET IT OUT! At the end of the day, I got this and I will walk away from this as a winner. Just gotta get through the hurdle.

On the bright side, I went to work for two days. I’ve been away for the past 2.5 months. With my neutrophils in a good place and them staying in a good place, my doctor gave me the okay that I can go back to work. Of course, I have to take it easy and not over do it. Plus, stay away from anyone sick. It felt good to get somewhat back in the swing of things. Seeing everyone was great and a good change of scenery. The second day I did not last the whole day. By 2pm I started to hit a wall and I went home. Once I got home I hit the couch and fell right asleep. I was drained emotionally and physically. Probably was in bed by 7:30 and slept until 9ish the next day. Clearly I needed the sleep.

Chemo #8 is this Thursday, Feb. 1st. I got this!!! 5 more chemo treatments. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. It reminds me my dad’s birthday is the 7th. 😦 I am missing him like crazy and I’ll make sure to do something special on that day.

Everyone have a wonderful week! #bebrave

xoxo,

Audrey

Continue reading “Round Six… ✔️” →

Ugh…went in today hoping round 6 of chemo would happen, but it didn’t. My neutrophils were a 0.5 and my Doctor did not want to risk me going through chemo. We figured in round 5, my neutrophils will be low this round because round 5 they were a 1.3, but hoped they would be in a good place to move forward with chemo, but that did not happen.

I am bummed.

I’ve mentioned this before in one of my blog post that you cannot be in control when dealing with cancer. You have to be so flexible and just know things can change very easily. It sucks, especially when you are a planner. You cannot really plan while going through cancer especially when the chemo loves to attach my neutrophils.

I gotta keep being careful with who I am around and public places. I’ve made sure to stay on top of taking vitamin C and washing my hands like crazy. Hand sanitizer is key!

I got a G shot today, which I’ve had before and it helped boost my neutrophils last time so I am sure it will help again this time. From now on, after every chemo treatment I will follow-up with three rounds of G shots. I had one today and will go in tomorrow and Saturday to get another. Chemo was rescheduled for January 4th and after that treatment, I will have three rounds of G shots. My Doctor does not want to lower my chemo dosage and we feel with getting the G shots more frequently will really help! I am cross my fingered because honestly, I am done having chemo being postponed. It is prolonging this journey and all I want is to be cancer free/done with chemo.

Keeping my head up and pushing forward to kill this cancer. Bye bye cancer!

xoxo,

Audrey

I am almost half way through this journey and it feels good.

I hope everyone had a great Christmas with your loved ones. My family and I had a nice relaxing Christmas. We stayed in our pjs all day Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Although, we sure missed my dad. He was always the life of the party! I did get a special gift from my bonus mom. She had quilts made with my dad’s shirts and ties. It will be something I will cherish the rest of my life!

Round 5 happened on Dec. 14th. I’m a little behind on getting this post out. Things went well. My neuropathy in my hands kicked in more the first couple of days after treatment. Numbness to my fingers and cramping to my hands. Right now, it’s been fine. Other than that, my side effects haven’t been too bad. My neutrophils were low, they were a 1.3, but my Doctor said as long as they are above a 1 we can proceed with chemo. I just need to be careful still and be careful with who I am around. Hopefully, I’ll be in a good place for round 6 this Thursday. My Doctor did mention I may need to get another G shot. It did help the last time, but that shot is painful to get. They give it to you slow and it burns.

The same week of round 5 of chemo, I had my colonoscopy. I was nervous leading up to it. I just wanted to hear good news for a change. I am happy to say it all went well. Below are the exact words from my surgeon:

– No signs of colon cancer present
– No areas of narrowing, infection, inflammation, or bleeding evident
– Number of colon polyps found is 0
– Diverticulosis of the colon was not found
– Site of surgery of the colon is well healed

I was relieved to read his notes and here the good news! It’s only up from here.

Round 6 of chemo is this Thursday. I’ll post an update sometime next week.

I hope everyone has a great New Years!!!

xoxo,
Audrey

Chemo was back on last Thursday. My numbers improved SO MUCH! My neutraphils went from a 0.1 to a 4.5 and my platelets went from a 74 to a 227. My B12 and iron also improved. I was so excited to hear the news and my Doctor was very happy too. Woohoo! I guess that G shot ended up working out. Finally, my numbers are in a good place and hopefully they continue to stay that way.

My doctor did lower my dosages by 15% last Thursday so hopefully by lowering my dosages of chemo will keep my numbers in a good place. I am still being careful because I want my numbers to continue to be in a good place. I do not want to jeopardize anything and I want to continue to be in a good spot. Hopefully, no more postponing chemo treatments for me!

This round, I was a little tired, but it was not like the first round of chemo were I slept all day for about 3 days straight. I feel good! Tingling in my fingers still is happening, but it is only when I touch anything that is cold. One of the things I was told is that I will not lose my hair. My pharmacist did mention my hair will thin out, but I have so much, I did not think it would be noticeable. But it is to me. Showering, I have noticed more hair than usually is wrapping around my fingers when I shampoo and my brush is getter full quicker. It is what it is, I still have my hair and that is all that matters. Worse case scenario, I will have to start wearing a wig, but I feel I am far from that. My appetite is still the same. Not a whole lot sounds good to me, but when something does, I make sure to get it. Gotta put something in my stomach even if it is a cheese burger from Dicks.

The gift shop next to the chemo center was having a Glassybaby event last Thursday. My brother went a little too crazy (hahaha), but he was sweet enough to purchase me one. The one he bought me is very fitting for this journey I am on. He got me the one that represents BRAVE and it is also the color of the colon cancer ribbon. When I got it home and lit the candle, it melted my heart because it was so perfect. We can all use some brave in our lives. The ladies working the booth were so sweet to us. One of them even wrote a personal note, which was so sweet. She told me to keep being brave and she enjoyed meeting my brother and I. They loved that my brother goes to my chemo treatments with me. My sister reminded me of what my niece told me the day before my first chemo treatment, which I shared in one of my blog post. “Good luck to be brave.” I guess BRAVE is what this journey represents for me. Maybe a tattoo idea! 😉

Chemo is on for next Thursday. I am crossing my fingers that my numbers are still in a good place. I also go in for my colonoscopy on Monday…we will see how that goes. 😬

If you would also like to follow me on Instagram, you can find me under auggiejo.

xoxo,

Audrey

 

Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving! Mine was bitter sweet. It was a great gathering with my family. I LOVE MY FAMILY! But, we missed an important man there. My dad! He was greatly missed along with his cooking. BUT, it was a nice and relaxing one for sure. I probably ate more than I have in the last week or two. Woohoo! I unfortunately have not had much of an appetite. When I crave something though, I make sure to get it. I am trying my best to just get something in my stomach throughout the day.

Chemo was scheduled to be Wednesday the 22nd. My Doctor postponed it due to my neutraphils were a 0.1. Way too low to handle chemo. The range neutraphils are supposed to be is between a 2-7.5. My Doctor was shocked how low they got. I was shocked. I was really thinking they would be in a good place, but they were not. The downside is this journey will just take a little longer, but I was happy I did not have my chemo pump, Peter for Thanksgiving.

People have been asking me, “How can you get your neutraphils up”. Really, it is the chemo that is lowering them. The chemo is doing what it is supposed to do, kill everything. There really isn’t much you can do besides staying away from sick people and public places. I’ve been taking a lot of vitamin C and staying up on all my vitamins. I did get a G shot last week to help boost my white blood cells. It was a painful shot, the nurse gives it to you slowly and there was a burning feeling while the stuff was going in. Gosh, I hope this shot works!

During this extra off week, I dealt with the worse back spasm. It hurt to breath, cough, sneeze, and sleep. The only thing that made it bearable was laying on the couch and being still. I did everything to make it go away, but nothing was working. Today, I feel good and the spasm is still there, but so much better. Appetite still needs to improve and I am trying to work on that. It is hard when you are not hungry and nothing sounds good. Diarrhea has improved, thank goodness. Something I have learned is just let it happen and what will be will be. When you are battling cancer, you don’t have control. You don’t have control on the journey itself, it can change at any time and you don’t have control over your body. Chemo will do its thing and you just have to accept what will happen. It’s hard…I like to have control. 😉 I am learning.

I will be going in tomorrow to see if chemo can happen or not. I am hoping my neutraphils have improved. My Doctor will also be lowering my dosage of chemo so it does not wipe out my white blood cells. Fingers crossed that tomorrow goes well!

xoxo,

Audrey

Last Thursday was round three of chemo. Nine more treatments to go. Woohoo! It has been challenging and emotional for me the last couple weeks. I feel like I’ve turned into a cry baby. Lol

The challenging part is staying home and limiting my time going out in public. My neutrophils are still below target and I am still at a high risk of catching something. I have been taking all my vitamins and lots of vitamin C. I’ve been going stir crazy being home, but I need to take care of myself and my health. I’ve been using my time coloring and binge watching.

It has been emotional because I want to go out and not think, “Could I possibly catch something” or “Am I putting myself at risk going out”. I would like to go out when I want to, see who I want to, go to work, go on vacation, and just have fun being in my twenties. BUT, right now I have to put those things on hold and be careful with what I choose to do. I have slowly started to accept that. It is only temporary. My health during this time is number 1.

My symptoms this round has been mostly diarrhea. I know, TMI but the whole point of this blog is to share my battle through fighting colon cancer. Eating has been challenging. It has been hard to find things that sound good. I have not had much of an appetite. I make sure I get something in my stomach throughout the day, but it is challenging. Neuropathy is the most common symptom for the chemo I am on. I’ve noticed it a little in my left hand, but it is only for a brief time and it goes away pretty quickly. Luckily, it has not happened too much. This is something to look out for and my Doctor asks about it every time I see him before chemo. This last visit, I had a funny question both my brother and I wanted to ask my Doctor. I asked him if I could get a handicap pass. The reason why is, why not. I am battling cancer, but also I am sensitive to the cold. I think my Doctor had a good laugh, and he did agree a handicap pass during this time of year is smart. So I am getting one!

Besides having round three of chemo, my dad’s celebration of life happened last Friday. It was an amazing celebration. Over 170 people where there who adored my dad. So many stories were told about him. It was a very special day! Honestly, it is hard to believe he is gone, but I have one incredible angle looking out for me.

Someone shared with me the other day a saying that made me think, but made total sense. “Embrace the suck.” Cancer sucks, symptoms sucks, not being able to really live life sucks, chemo sucks, not having control over your body sucks, but why not embrace it. It will only make you stronger and it is only temporary. Soon, I will be able to live life again and have full control. So anyone out there who is going through a battle, “Embrace the suck” because it’s only temporary and it will make you a stronger person!

Round 4 is next week. The day before Thanksgiving. I got this! Hoping my neutrophils have gone up. Crossing my fingers!

I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving and stay tuned for the next post!

xoxo,
Audrey

I thought to myself last night, the reason I started this blog was to share my journey and create a public diary through my battle of colon cancer as a 27 year old female.

BUT, I decided it was time for me to be vulnerable with you all who are taking your time to read this and share with you my life…from the start.

I grew up in Mukilteo, WA. I have a brother who is three years older than me. We had the typical brother/sister relationship. I tried anything and everything to get him in trouble. He would do anything and everything to annoy me. We would bicker, but we loved hard. We knew how to have fun!

As a family, we had dinner together every day during the week. All four of us would sit down at the table and talk about our day. We camped a lot and traveled to some pretty amazing places. I had an opportunity to travel to Norway and Denmark with my family. In high school, I went to Italy with my orchestra class and traveled all over there. It was all amazing! I played the viola, if you were wondering. 😉

I played soccer, but my love was for tennis. I played club tennis, competed in tournaments on my own and with my dad, and all 4 years of high I was on the varsity tennis team. I love it and miss it!

But let’s get into the nitty-gritty. December of my 8th grade year, my parents broke the news to my brother and I that our mom was diagnosed with ovarian cancer…stage 4. Looking back, my parents didn’t really tell my brother and I a whole lot about the battle my mom was facing. We knew it wasn’t good. My dad was by her side every step of the way. There was not one moment he did not miss. My mom wanted my brother and I to keep living life. My mom was such a fighter. Even at her lowest, she had a smile on her face. For our family, my mom was our rock. She was incredible! My mom lost her battle January of 2006. I was 15 years old and my brother was 18 years old. It got to the point the cancer was taking over and her body was shutting down. The last few days, my mom was on life support. We decided to pull the plug.

I was 15 years old, motherless. It wasn’t right. I thought to myself I won’t have my mom to be there for me during homecoming/prom, brake ups, graduation for high school and college, wedding dress shopping, my wedding day, and when I have children. Between my dad and my brother, I become the rock. I took on the characteristics of being the strength for the family. I grew up fast, in my mind and become very independent. People describe me as an old soul. My dad and I become even closer. We had a strong father/daughter relationship. No one could get in-between us. My dad was and is my best friend!

Life continued on and you sure learned what the word “family” meant. It’s been 12 years and not a day goes by where I don’t think about her.

I graduated high school and moved to AZ to go to college. I loved being away. I got my bachelors in psychology. However, I sure appreciated WA. After graduating, I moved back.

My dad got remarried to an amazing women who actually knew everything about my family. She was dear friends with my grandma (dad’s mom). I got a sister out of it who is 10 years older than me and we have the same birthday. We have a great relationship. My sister gifted me with two incredible nieces who I love dearly and a great brother-in-law. My relationship has grown so much with my brother over the years, it’s been amazing!

Fast forward to August 2017. I get diagnosed with colon cancer and a few weeks after, my dad passed away unexpectedly. My dad had a pulmonary embolism. WHAT…

I was in complete shock. I thought to myself, wasn’t my situation enough for our family. Going through my battle, it’s been hard not having my dad around. It’s been hard not to think was my diagnoses too much for my dad? Did it play a factor in what happened? I couldn’t image how it feels being a parent and watching your child go through something like this at such a young age. I’ve been surrounded by amazing family and friends. Shout out to my brother and bonus mom for being by my side at every doctors apt, lab work, and chemo. Even though it has been just a few times, it feels like this has been going on for a while.

My struggles, I am independent and it’s hard for me to rely on others for help. I like to just have the control and do it my way. I also tend to be the strength for everyone else because that is who I am and that is my comfort zone. I feel like I am like that with my family, friends, and work family. So far, this has been a HUGE learning experience. I have cancer and I cannot do everything on my own. But, easier said than done. It’s not easy for me because everyone else has lives too. I don’t want someone to change around their schedule or cancel something to be able to go with me to a doctor’s appointment. But, I have cancer and I cannot do this on my own. I don’t want to do this on my own. It’s a learning experience. I take it day by day. I took on these traits when my mom passed away and have kept them ever since.

In my last post, I mentioned it is very important to surround yourself with good people. I have an amazing family and a great group of friends. I have the best cheer group ever. I want to take the time to thank them. So, THANK YOU! I couldn’t do this without my family and friends. I am learning I cannot control everything and things are not always going to work out how it was planned or how I planned it.

IT IS LIFE! Just need to enjoy the good moments and days. Bring it on Nov. 9th.

xoxo,

Audrey

Chemo got postponed Oct 19th. Not something I wanted to hear. My white blood cells/B12/iron were low to the point my doctor did not want to put me through chemo. My body needed to rest more, but clearly the chemo is working.

I was told I was neutropenia…

I’ve been staying away from work, public places, and sick people. I have to put my health first during this journey. It sucks. I never imagined myself going through this in my 20’s. I’ve had to cancel two trips, one was to Connecticut to visit my best friend and the other was to Arizona to go to one of my dearest friend’s wedding. My whole world feels like it literally flipped upside down. BUT, I will push through this and beat this stupid cancer.

My brother described my chemo being postponed as my “bye week”. So clever…so true! It is extra time to take care of myself and my health. I’ve had great company during this time to keep me entertained. 🙂

I was so bummed. Change is never easy. My original schedule was PERFECT. What is perfect though? Things do not always work out how we would want them to, it’s life. Something I need to remind myself, it’s life. And now I will be on chemo for my dad’s celebration of life. Something I really wanted to avoid. But, “it’s life” and I will make it work.

I have started to take a B12 injection and an iron infusion on top of the vitamins I have been taking. I am doing all I can to kill this cancer and to keep me healthy.

Oct 26th, I went in to see if chemo would be on or postponed again. My numbers improved! Of course I am still bummed I will be on chemo for my dad’s celebration, but hearing my numbers have improved felt good! It’s what you want to hear as a chemo patient.

Chemo was back on. I took a little nap during it and did some people watching. The nauseousness seemed to kick in right away while I was sitting there, but it got under control. The first night, I could not sleep. I was wide awake. I counted sheep and that was not working. Thank goodness for naps! I have not been sleeping as much as the 1st round of recovery days. I am tired, but I feel my energy is improving quicker then the 1st round (the B12 injections and iron infusions have helped). Sleeping in general this week has been difficult though. I just cannot get comfortable and cannot stop tossing/turning.

I have had moments and I know I will have more. This isn’t easy and it sure is not fun. In away, it consumes your life. It is so important to surround yourself with people who are loving, supportive, encouraging, pushes you, and entertains you! I say “pushes you” because with chemo, it changes your taste buds, you have LOTS of moments where nothing sounds good and you don’t feel like eating, and you have lots of moments that you just want to stay in bed all day. It’s good to have people who push you for the better. People to push you to just eat something and to get up, walk around and stretch those legs.

All I can say, is this will be a battle and there will be lots of downs, but cancer is not going to win this battle, I AM!

xoxo,

Audrey

The night before my 1st chemo treatment, my niece Sadie wished me the best of luck. Leave it up to a 4 year old to give you words of encouragement. Sadie told me, “Auggie, good luck to be brave”! I love that!!!

Walking into the chemo facility, I was full of so much emotion. Tears building up and the nerves kicking in more. I just thought to myself, this is really happening.

I was at the hospital for 4 hours. Once the chemo was completed, I took another type of chemo home with me for 48hrs. I wasn’t sure how it would go being home hooked up to chemo, but it wasn’t too bad. Especially, when I had my comfort food for dinner…grilled cheese and tomato soup! Yum. Thanks to my bonus mom for making it.

My 1st blog post, I mentioned my port has a name, Betty. So why not name my chemo machine. Peter the pump. Name credit goes out to my brother!

The recovery days I slept a lot. Very heavy sleeping occurred throughout the weekend. I did feel nauseous at times and still do, but luckily it isn’t horrible. I also am dealing with some tingling in my hands that only last a few minutes. I mainly get the tingling when I touch something cold. My taste buds are acting up, but I am getting through it. Spicy food is kind of hitting the spot and I am not much of a spicy food kind of girl.

Next treatment is Oct. 19th. Hopefully, just more heavy sleeping is in store for me.

xoxo,

Audrey