Gosh, it has been awhile since I have written a blog post. So much has been going on in my life personally along with the world. We are all in this together!
This quarantine/shelter in place situation hits home with how my cancer life was once upon a time. In away, my cancer life prepared me to be able to deal and cope with this crazy time being at home 24/7 and being careful going out when needing. But, I am getting stir crazy just like everyone else. There were many times I had to cancel plans, not be able to be apart of things, and be careful with who I could be around because of my immune system being compromised. Thank goodness, I am healthy during this time and I am so blessed I am where I am at in life. The huge difference between what I went through while battling cancer to now, EVERYONE is going through this. Dealing with cancer, you feel so alone and so isolated. For me, I searched for those individuals who I can truly relate to while I battled something so traumatizing and life changing. During this quarantine time, we all are trying our best to keep ourselves and others safe and healthy by staying in as much as possible. During this time, we all are in the same boat and in this together.
After two years, I officially returned to work in March. I had all sorts of feels when I entered through those doors. I did not think I would go from being back in the office to working from home within days but it happened. After two days in the office not even feeling comfortable one bit, it was back home I go. I am very lucky to be employed and to be able to work from home! But, getting back in the swing of things has been overwhelming and difficult to say the least. Life after cancer is challenging. Even though I did this job for three year prior to being diagnosed and going on long-term, it feels like I am learning a new job all over again and learning it somewhat on my own. Not being able to physically ask my manager or coworkers for help or clarification is difficult. All I can do is do the best I can in this situation. Taking it day by day. I mean, I haven’t worked in two years and all I focused on during that time was saving my life and doing what I can to survive. As the days do go on with working from home, I am feeling more confident and more comfortable with what I am doing. It will take time to get my feet under me again but I am learning that is okay.
Fast forward to last Monday, May 10th, I had my 3rd three month CT scan to see where things are at. Friday, May 15th I officially got the news from my oncologist that I am in REMISSION. Good things are happening durning this weird time we are all in. So much happiness filled that room and I could not believe that word came out of my oncologist’s mouth. He told me I am his miracle patient and it is truly a miracle that I am in the position I am in. Cancer fucking sucks! I kicked its ass though and it feels so good! I have officially been in remission since my last chemo which was May 24, 2019. So – I am so excited to type this out for you all to read, I have been in remission for ONE year. Four more years, I will be able to hear the words, “Audrey you are cured of cancer”. Without a doubt, I know I will get there. I did not come this far to not get to that point in my cancer journey. So – it will happen!
My CT scan will now be every six months verses three months. It’s so exciting to have these types of appointments get pushed out more and more. It is quite an accomplishment and it is time to fully focus on living life. Plus, have a huge celebration as soon as it mellows out! It is also official that Betty the port needs to get out. I have talked about how much I enjoy having my port and how great it has been to have her. She has saved my veins on so many levels. However, it is time to take her out and that will be happening very soon. She is not needed anymore. I will say, it is bitter sweet. Although, at the same time it is the last thing for me to do to be able to move on with my life that does not involve cancer anymore.
No matter what, I will have in the back of my mind those ill feelings that something can happen. I battled stage IV metastatic colon cancer and I have lynch syndrome. It is scary to think something can happen later on in life. HOWEVER, it is truly time for me to enjoy my non cancer life and focus on all the good. Life is truly amazing and I am a cancer survivor who is officially in remission!
There is a list of people I would love to thank for all their support, love, and encouragement through the last couple of years as I battled cancer. You know who you are! Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read my blog and who have followed my journey from day one. It is truly a miracle to be where I am at. It feels so amazing! In a crazy way, I want to also thank cancer for showing me that I can handle anything that comes in my way and for showing me how strong of a women I am. Cancer has nothing on me!